no one ever taught me

My head gets so wrapped up in who it thinks I need to be.

In these emotions. Anger, frustration, angst. Hatred.

My body can so easily carry these emotions. I feel them all over my entire body.

No wonder doctors always ask me why I am so tense.


No one ever taught me that I didn’t have to carry what isn’t mine.

Instead, it was piled on. Layer, after layer, after critique, after critique.

 I learned that maybe if I took on the pain for them, they would see me. Or value me.

But that wasn’t true.

 Sometimes, I feel that I am the only target of my own hatred, and I weep.


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